Oooh! The Pain!!

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This memory donated by Tony Newey MWYC 

Bear with me will you? In the last memory I started to talk about my return to those misty ‘haunts’ of Liverpool via the new ‘Liverpool Link’ and my stay in and around Albert Dock.

I will continue that story soon I promise but I need to take a small ‘trip’ with you down a side channel?

I had been in “The ‘Pool” for about a week when I was taken seriously ill and after a 4am 999 call (the ambulance got to me in an amazing 90 seconds!!) I spent the next two weeks recovering in ‘The Royal’. It is here that everything you hear and know about Scousers comes true! 

Here you are lying on a bed connected to a Monster Computer that has the clear and sole intention of sucking your Life Force from you when a voice breaks through your haze of pain and says “Wotcha ‘ere for mate!” 

Did I hear that right or is it The Angel of Death (bit like the Angel of The North but in Lancashire?) with a Scouser accent coming to check his (her?) next ‘opportunity’?

No.... the voice says “You don’t look well Mate!” I open one eye and see.. an apparition! My Angel of the North-West is wearing a hospital gown and trailing a ‘snakes wedding’ of cables behind him!

Suffice to say that this sight alone nearly carried me off but I managed to moan politely “I don't feel well” and “I’m not sure why I am here?” to receive the cheerful reply “They never do mate. Oive bin ere foive toimes now and they aint got a clue!” then he wandered off dragging my life support system with him tangled in his Roboscouse wires! Oh well.... that definitely cheered me up!!

Seriously though.... the attention and support I got could not have been better. When I have my next heart attack I will travel to Liverpool the day before!

I though I might share a shred of Valuable (boating) Information with you!? When you travel into Liverpool Docks BW encourage you to moor on their new pontoons in Salthouse Dock.

Very smart and they do - now - have the electricity (really cheap - a £1.50 ‘card’ has lasted me over a month so far and still 50% left!) and the water ‘working’ but..... what they don’t tell you.... it’s the ‘wrong’ place!

On your way into Salthouse you pass through the quite wonderful Albert Dock! Here there are sea- and canal-going craft of every type with ‘larger than life’ characters living on them!

Would you believe one of them is the granddaughter of Ireland’s most prolific gunrunner of the 1920’ and 30’s (given a medal by President de Valera) living on his tug that ran between Liverpool and Dublin!

Next to her is a gentleman who is President of the British Egyptology Society that sails his 100 year-old sloop from Liverpool, down the Nile to Abu Simbel and back again every year!

What BW don’t tell you is that you do not have to stay on their new shiny pontoons but can equally stay in the real ‘heart’ of Liverpool - Albert Dock itself!

So I moved Menagerie almost alongside the 500 ton 200 foot 18th Century Brig the Stavros Niarchos! (see photo).

Now... here is the REAL bit of info... but keep it to yourself!? I have had to leave Menagerie in this truly wonderful spot while I take some time off to recover fully.

On my return to the boat from hospital I was called into the ‘presence’ of the local BW manager and informed that I would have to sign a ‘residential agreement’ and pay in advance for the 4-weeks I would be away!

Oh no!! I would have to arrange a mortgage or something! Andy gets out his calculator, does some adding and says “I’m afraid the four weeks will cost you £8 plus VAT!”

The smelling salts helped.... and he was most concerned I had had another ‘attack’! But no... I got up off the floor and checked with him! He would have to charge me £2 a week like ‘all the other permanent boat residents’!!

If you could only see the view I have of Pier Head, the Metropolitan Cathedral, The Tate Gallery, Maritime Museum, some of the best restaurants... ooops sorry…. ‘Canteens’ anywhere north of.... Stratford? Plus all the new waterfront developments that the Euro Millions have wrought and one of the best shopping areas I have ever seen!

So the news is..... I won’t be leaving for while yet! About 10 years maybe?